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“The nurturant parent worldview is gender neutral.
Both parents are equally responsible for raising the children. The assumption is that children are born good and can be made better. The world can be made a better place, and our job is to work on that. The parents’ job is to nurture their children and to raise their children to be nurturers of others.
What does nurturance mean? It means three things: empathy, responsibility for yourself and others, and a commitment to do your best not just for yourself, but for your family, your community, your country, and the world. If you have a child, you have to know what every cry means. You have to know when the child is hungry, when she needs a diaper change, when she is having nightmares. And you have a responsibility—you have to take care of the child. Since you cannot take care of someone else if you are not taking care of yourself, you have to take care of yourself enough to be able to take care of the child.
All this is not easy. Anyone who has ever raised a child knows that it is hard. You have to be strong. You have to work at it. You have to be very competent. You have to know a lot.
In addition, all sorts of other values immediately follow from empathy, responsibility for yourself and others, and commitment to do your best for all. Think about it.
First, if you empathize with your child, you will provide protection. This comes into politics in many ways. What do you protect your child from? Crime and drugs, certainly. You also protect your child from cars without seat belts, from smoking, from poisonous additives in food. So progressive politics focuses on environmental protection, worker protection, consumer protection, and protection from disease. These are the things that progressives want the government to protect their citizens from. But there are also terrorist attacks, which liberals and progressives have not been very good at talking about in terms of protection. Protection is part of the progressive moral system, but it has not been elaborated on enough. And on September 11, 2001, progressives did not have a whole lot to say. That was unfortunate, because nurturant parents and progressives do care about protection. Protection is important. It is part of our moral system.
Second, if you empathize with your child, you want your child to be fulfilled in life, to be a happy person. And if you are an unhappy, unfulfilled person yourself, you are not going to want other people to be happier than you are. The Dalai Lama teaches us that. Therefore it is your moral responsibility to be a happy, fulfilled person. Your moral responsibility! Further, it is your moral responsibility to teach your child to be a happy, fulfilled person who wants others to be happy and fulfilled. That is part of what nurturing family life is about. It is a common precondition for caring about others.”
There are still other nurturant values.
• If you want your child to be fulfilled in life, the child has to be free enough to seek and possibly find fulfillment. Therefore freedom is a value.
• You do not have very much freedom if there is no opportunity or prosperity. Therefore opportunity and prosperity are progressive values.
• If you really care about your child, you want your child to be treated fairly by you and by others. Therefore fairness is a value.
• If you are connecting with your child and you empathize with that child, you have to have open, two-way communication. Honest, open communication. That becomes a value.
• You live in a community, and that community will affect how your child grows up. Therefore community-building, service to the community, and cooperation in a community become values.
• To have cooperation, you must have trust, and to have trust, you must have honesty and open two-way communication. Trust, honesty, and open communication are fundamental progressive values—in a community as in a family.
These are the nurturant values—and they are the progressive values. As a progressive, you have them. You know you have them. You recognize them.”
Both parents are equally responsible for raising the children. The assumption is that children are born good and can be made better. The world can be made a better place, and our job is to work on that. The parents’ job is to nurture their children and to raise their children to be nurturers of others.
What does nurturance mean? It means three things: empathy, responsibility for yourself and others, and a commitment to do your best not just for yourself, but for your family, your community, your country, and the world. If you have a child, you have to know what every cry means. You have to know when the child is hungry, when she needs a diaper change, when she is having nightmares. And you have a responsibility—you have to take care of the child. Since you cannot take care of someone else if you are not taking care of yourself, you have to take care of yourself enough to be able to take care of the child.
All this is not easy. Anyone who has ever raised a child knows that it is hard. You have to be strong. You have to work at it. You have to be very competent. You have to know a lot.
In addition, all sorts of other values immediately follow from empathy, responsibility for yourself and others, and commitment to do your best for all. Think about it.
First, if you empathize with your child, you will provide protection. This comes into politics in many ways. What do you protect your child from? Crime and drugs, certainly. You also protect your child from cars without seat belts, from smoking, from poisonous additives in food. So progressive politics focuses on environmental protection, worker protection, consumer protection, and protection from disease. These are the things that progressives want the government to protect their citizens from. But there are also terrorist attacks, which liberals and progressives have not been very good at talking about in terms of protection. Protection is part of the progressive moral system, but it has not been elaborated on enough. And on September 11, 2001, progressives did not have a whole lot to say. That was unfortunate, because nurturant parents and progressives do care about protection. Protection is important. It is part of our moral system.
Second, if you empathize with your child, you want your child to be fulfilled in life, to be a happy person. And if you are an unhappy, unfulfilled person yourself, you are not going to want other people to be happier than you are. The Dalai Lama teaches us that. Therefore it is your moral responsibility to be a happy, fulfilled person. Your moral responsibility! Further, it is your moral responsibility to teach your child to be a happy, fulfilled person who wants others to be happy and fulfilled. That is part of what nurturing family life is about. It is a common precondition for caring about others.”
There are still other nurturant values.
• If you want your child to be fulfilled in life, the child has to be free enough to seek and possibly find fulfillment. Therefore freedom is a value.
• You do not have very much freedom if there is no opportunity or prosperity. Therefore opportunity and prosperity are progressive values.
• If you really care about your child, you want your child to be treated fairly by you and by others. Therefore fairness is a value.
• If you are connecting with your child and you empathize with that child, you have to have open, two-way communication. Honest, open communication. That becomes a value.
• You live in a community, and that community will affect how your child grows up. Therefore community-building, service to the community, and cooperation in a community become values.
• To have cooperation, you must have trust, and to have trust, you must have honesty and open two-way communication. Trust, honesty, and open communication are fundamental progressive values—in a community as in a family.
These are the nurturant values—and they are the progressive values. As a progressive, you have them. You know you have them. You recognize them.”
